What are the advantages and disadvantages of long engagements?

I want to hear the stories of people that have had either a short engagemet or a long engagement. Please DEFINE what is a short engagement and what is a long engagement to you! Furthermore, I want to know for those of you that did have short engagements, has your marriage worked out? And for those of you that have had long engagements, has your marriage worked out? I would love some advice so that I can have an idea of which one to pick. Just so you know we met at work 3 years before we dated, dated for 16 months, and now we are setting a date for an engagement.

I'm still engaged. However my husband and I as you see, refer to each other as already married. We were stumped on marriage because of my parents insurance, which I lose in 13 months. It's the best insurance you can get, just snap your fingers and whatever you want you get. But anyways. We've been engaged ten years next October. We are making things official next year. Our engagement has been pretty good actually. It really allowed us to get to know each other and really fit into one another and become each other's soul mates. We're both really odd fellows you can say. Im disabled and he's impatient, my disabilities are difficult to handle if you're impatient. So through the past ten years we've learned to be patient with one another and ignore each other's quirks that drive us nuts. We also don't get offended by little things (the first year I got offended because he slept with his back to me, and he used to get offended if I got insomnia attacks and didn't come to bed). I don't think our marriage would have worked without our long engagement. I think things would have fallen apart because of the stress of finances which we bypassed because my parents paid for my insurance and medication ($400+ a month) and medical bills. If we had to pay those bills, I think we'd have definately split up over money. But now that we're both working towards bachelor degrees that'll get our dream jobs, mine in video game design and his in advertising, I think that'll help a ton and let us move wherever we want and adopt, have the house and lifestyle we want and raise a family a year after we officiate the marriage (we're doing a halloween marriage. A costume party :) we wanted to have fun, since everyone considers us married already. We decided to let loose and have a real good time. Make the wedding part as short as possible and the party as long as possible :P). Oh! I do suggest these days to all couples looking to get married, that they live together for one year at least. If you can survive that? You can survive anything. That's part of our creed =D

Well, My fiance and I have known one another for 19 years. Good friends. Watched each others kids grow up. Then I was divorced 3 years before his. Then I went away for 2 of them and came back. Then I find out he is going through the same. We talked on the phone and agreed to meet. He showed up at a friend of ours where I was staying and gave each other a hug. Which was the first one ever. We've been together since. We moved in together about 5 months later, became engaged a year after that and are going on a 1 1/2 year engagement. We marry in March. I don't know so much about long engagements as would the thoughts of one run through my head. Long engagements, I see you really getting to know someone. Moving in together, you get to know them on a deeper level. Now, too long of an engagement, I would feel it was a shut me up kinda thing that happened or maybe he is thinking twice the longer it goes on. Well, thats what I think. Its got its good things and its bad. You just need to follow your heart.

I can only tell you that I've read that the purpose of an Engagement is that it gives both partners the opportunity and time to appreciates the finer qualities of their respective partners. Its purpose is to allow special time for the two people to really observe, feel and understand why they love that person.

You don't set a date for an engagement. You set a date for the wedding.

If you have already mutually decided to marry each other, you ARE ALREADY ENGAGED. A ring is not necessary.

Age and maturity level have a lot more to do with how a marriage turns out, than the length of the engagement does. Actually I'd say the length of the engagement counts for almost nothing, in the grand scheme of things.

You're talking about being married and committed for the next 60 years! Whether your engagement is 4 months long, 12, 18 months, or 2 years long-- if the maturity level is there to make the commitment then the length of the engagement does not matter whatsoever.

We have been engaged for close to 3 years, and it might be another year we get married, so that might be 4 total. We are 33 and 35. We both know neither of us is going anywhere.

i met my husband January of 2003, we became sweethearts after 2 weeks and got married September of the same year and we are still happily together with each other until now...we did not plan it, we just felt that time that we want to live the rest of our lifes with each other, i guess there is no such thing as long or short engagement...as long as you love each other your marriage will be successful...

My engagement was a year and a half long. Our reasoning for it was based on the fact that we wanted to be married in the month of June. Since we were engaged in December- I didn't feel 6 months was enough time for me to plan a wedding. So we were married June of the following year (07- I'm a newlywed). I enjoyed the longer engagement. We were together for 2.5 years before being engaged, but waiting for another year and a half gave us a nice adjustment period. We got to get used to the idea of us actually getting married. I was able to buy things for the wedding over a period of more than a year- so there wasn't much financial burden. There are a lot of last minute expenses for weddings- so having bought things like decorations, down payments on cake, food, etc. early, it was easier to pay for. Although the longer engagement was right for me- I do know 2 couples getting married this month- both couples have been together for over 4 years- and both couples were just engaged the early part of this summer. That is what I would call a short engagement- but it works for them. Just look at what time of year you would like to get married- how big your wedding will be therefore how much planning will need to be done, things like that. It's different for everyone.

Long engagements = more time to plan the wedding, but you have to wait longer to be married. Helpful if you want a larger, more elaborate wedding or a popular date or month. And sometimes one needs to wait longer b/c of life circumstances.

Short engagements = less time to plan the wedding, but you get to be married sooner.

In my case, I need about a year to plan the wedding b/c it will on a popular date, and b/c of some life circumstances including a cross-country move.

You have to figure out how much time you need/want, based on your own life circumstances, and how much time you want for planning a wedding. If you want to elope or go to a justice of the peace, it's feasible to have a short engagement of a few weeks. If you want a 200+ guest Cinderella wedding on a popular date, you may need up to 18 months for planning.

I am currently in a long engagement. He proposed December 2006 and we're marrying in May of 2008. The only reason for the long engagement is because we're paying for everything. We've lived together for 4 years (been together for 6 years), so I don't expect my family to help with money. Weddings are expensive and I would rather spend our engagement saving for a long time then being in credit card debt after the wedding if we were to have a short engagement.

It all depends on what your lifestyle and your expenses are. I don't think anyone should jump into marriage too quickly. Everyone likes the idea of having a husband or wife, but it's important to make sure you really love that person before making those vows for the rest of your life.

I've always heard that a great wedding takes a good year to plan.

Good luck!