My daughter wants to be a vegetarian - why am I so angry?

I am actually serious with this question -

My daughter is 11. She wants to be a vegetarian.

She has a 130 IQ (not as high as mine), and we love to debate things. I think I could allow her to do it if she could come up with a good reason, but all of her reasons seem political, and not a personal choice.

I'm sorry, but I believe our bodies were made to eat meat. I enjoy eating meat, and could not imagine going thru life without a steak once in a while.

I think her reasons are political - She saw a show once, thinks animals have feelings, feels that animals are as important as people, etc, which I am vehemently opposed to. How do others handle this?

I'm sorry, when I say feelings, I mean emotions - Cows, fish, chickens, no, they do not have anything that resembles emotions

I'm 24 and have been a vegetarian for almost 7 years. You may want to take her to a nutritionist so she knows how to get protein and ask the nutritionist about her becoming a vegetarian. I have thought of eating meat again and if I do it will be free range meat only. That way the animals live in better conditions and are usually healthier. You might want to have her check out this one website: http://www.mercola.com/2000/mar/26/veget...

You've never seen a vegetarian that looked healthy?

Paul McCartney
Dennis Kucinich
Bryan Adams
Tony LaRussa
Hank Aaron
Jim Kaat
Billie Jean King
Bob Barker
Vanessa Williams
Ted Danson
David Duchovny
Woody Harrelson
Robert Redford
Noah Wylie

That a very, very partial list of people in the public eye who are vegetarians and vegans. Do any of these poeple actually look unhealthy?

Why do you need to hear original reasons from your daughter? Why isn't it enough to hear from her that she agrees with the political, environmental, etc reasons for making such a change. Your daughter is no fool (you admit that yourself). Just because your imagination is so limited that you can't imagine a life without being a carnivore doesn't mean that your daughter's imagination is as limited as is your own.

Admit it, your real problem here has nothing to do with the "inconvenience" of your daughter being a vegetarian (so she learns to cook, she should be able to cook no matter what), has nothing to do with her echoing others' ideas, and has nothing to do with your limited imagination. This is about one thing, and one thing only - your daughter is growing up and like every parent, it scares you.

But you are a parent, and every parent knows that their children must grow up, must learn to do things for themselves, must learn to be independent in all ways. That doesn't mean that a grown child will never have anything to do with their parents - think of yourself for confirmation of that. It simply means that in the normal course of events, children grow older, grow more mature, grow more independent and leave the nest to start their own lives and eventually their own families.

Help your daughter to make these changes, and to make them properly. That way, you'll learn yourself as well, and you'll be that much less worried. And you may just surprise yourself and realize that not only is it healthier to be a vegetarian than an omnivore, but that you actually like it yourself, too.

I'm giving you some information sources that you should both read.

It must be difficult for someone who so desperately clings to such trivial points as your IQ score being higher than an 11 year old to realize your pre-adolescent daughter has become smarter and more aware than you.

Honestly, you are probably just angry because deep down you knew what you were doing was wrong, but you did it anyway for instant gratification. Now you are confronted with your own child who understands that taste isn't a good enough reason for looking the other way.

Learn from her.
:)

Lots of people are angry when confronted with the ideas behind vegetarianism. I suggest you look into the facts a little further and I think you may agree with your extremely intelligent daughter.

I am not sure what you mean that her reasons are 'political'.? I am convinced animals have emotions but there is no doubt that they suffer. Watch a video of a cow or pig in the moments before their slaughter and there is no denying it. I have also seen footage of farm workers beating turkeys with pipes and grabbing chickens by the legs and bashing them against cages. I would be proud if my daugther knew about these things and chose not be any part of this violence. Even the tastiest piece of meat is not worth the suffering an animal must endure.

I am sure she will research how to be a healthy vegetarian but it is really quite easy. Replacing meat with more nuts, soy products and beans is simple enough. The rest is just eating a balanced whole foods diet.

Here is a great article on the enviroemental impact of intensive farming:
http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/sto...

Here is a site with lots of medical and nutrition info:
http://www.pcrm.org/

A compelling video and the reason many people consider vegetarianism:
http://www.meat.org/

Do you really think we care how high your I.Q. is? Your I.Q. bears no significance to the qustion, stating your learning abilitie only makes you look like a self absorbed douche.


Incidentally, I don't understand why someone with out specific dietary requirements would not want to eat the flesh of an animal, animals taste good.

You are angry because you are a control freak.And she is not letting you control her.

I'm a vegetaian (lacto ovo) and have been for the last 14 years. My mom was very upset also when i decided at the age of 14 that i was no longer going to eat meat. She didnt understand and did not agree with my choice, in fact she did everything she could to force me to go back to eating meat. I had to buy my own veggie foods and prepare them, which i was fine with. I didnt like how animals are treated or injected with all the hormones and what they are doing to people, but my main reason for choosing this life was that i never really liked meat. Alot of it upset my stomach. I would throw alot of it away in napkins or out the backdoor to my dog as a kid. There are lots of good meat alternatives out there today that can help your daughter to stay healthy. I highly recommend just about any of the Morningstar products! All i know is that it put a huge strain on my relationship with my mom that she was so unsupportive (pretty much the opposite actually) I dont think you have to agree with your daughter, but in talking with her and hearing her out, even helping her be healthy while trying out this new could be a bonding time for you both. If she is as smart as you say and is strongwilled, she will most likely find ways to be a vegetarian should you choose to not support her. Speaking from experience, it would be much better and healthier for your daughter if you help her in this decision. You never know, it may just be a phase. Hope this was at least a little helpful....
(PS i am healthy. normal blood pressure, healthy cholesterol levels, etc after 14 years of being vegetarian. )

well first off, despite your self proclaimed high iq humans actually are not made to eat meat. if you look at the dental structure of human beings they have mainly flat molars that are not well suited to piercing and cutting flesh but are well suited for crushing and grinding up plant material.
that fact aside, your daughter is making a conscious choice. you may not agree with it but her choice is not an unhealthy one. she's not getting a tattoo or piercing her tongue because she thinks its cool.
vegetarianism/veganism is a very healthy lifestyle. there are accommodations that must be made to compensate for the lackof protein that meat provides but alternative can be found in nuts and beans, etc.
even if her reasons are solely political not eating meat isn't exactly against the moral fabric of society. i say support her and let her run with this. she may outgrow it or find that she really misses meat. the point is let her come to the decision on her own.

well, i personally have trouble eating meat also, but just because i don't like how it tastes.

so here it is, i think you should let her be a vegetarian, but SHE has to cook the extra meals for HERSELF. if she wants to live this way, then SHE has to take care of it. there is no sense in making 2 diff. meals.

I think you are angry because you feel like she isn't taking a stand for herself, but merely doing what the 'media' says to do-and you raised her otherwise.

so, let her do like a trial period for 3 weeks or so and tell her to keep a journal of what she ate and how she felt after it. tell her to find recipes and things to eat. this may seem a bit much for an 11 year old to do, but if she insists that she is old enough to decide what kind of person she is, then this should be a walk in the park.
hope i helped:)

What does your IQ have anything to do with this. In my opinion she is alot smarter than you. Let her do as she please. You a a total control freak over her! It is her desion and you must respect that! What are you? God? Does killing animals sound right to you? Are you claiming that a pet can't be happy? They have emotions too! A pig is more smarter than the average three year old!Let go of your daughter! Meat is BAD!

lets her do is healthy

There are many posts here from vegan/vegetarian kids whose family doesnt understand or accept them. That is the hardest part of being a veg*n for a child and even many adults. Why not visit a veg site, learn more about nutrition, and the fact that protein can easily be found in plant life. Google "raising a vegetarian/vegan child". There is so much information available on the net.

Because your daughter is still young, you should be responsible for what she eats and make sure to fill your fridge with lots of fresh vegetables and fruit. Soy and other beans are a great source of protein. There are so many healthy recipes on the net, home made food is always the best choice.

If you have any specific questions about recipes, or anything else email me, I'll be glad to help. I have been a vegetarian for over 11 years and now a vegan. I have never felt healthier in my life. I was 15 when I gave up meat and eggs, this didnt affect my development in any negative way. My parents have totally changed their view about vegan diet since they noticed how good it makes me feel. Now they actually phone and ask for advice about what food is healthy.

PS. You should be proud of your daughter; at 11 shes already a thinker. Many intelligent and gifted people like Plato, Einstein, Gandhi, da Vinci, T. Edison, Voltaire, were vegetarians.

Seems to me like a battle of wills.. what the hell the difference does it make? So you like steak.. and she does not want to eat meat.. Whether it is political or practical.. you don't eat for her and she does not eat for you.. why would you want to force you will off on her? let her eat what she wants.. either she will be happy with the decision or not.. if later she decides that she wants to eat some meat she will, if not, she won't.. why would you want something so trivial to come between you and your daughter.. she has to make her on way in life and if you don't let her grow then what is she going to be? I think you need to get over YOURSELF.

Not that your child's health is not IMPORTANT,,, but is this something that really needs to be a battle? There will be many important things in the next few years to put your foot down over. I suggest that you pick your battles wisely or you will find the 2 of you fighting all the time.
I like you do not believe animals are as important as humans (Biblically they are not) If you can insure that she eats balanced healthy meals, her being a 'Veggie" is truly not going to hurt. Our children must sometimes do things we do not agree with to be their own people. I think part of what you feel is she is challenging you & your life choices. It's a scary time, but if she is as smart as you say she will come out of the next few years to be a great person you will be proud to have raised.

I personally feel u should let her experience being a vegetarian and if its a lifestyle that she enjoys then back her up 100%. Some people think that if one chooses to be a vegetarian that it excludes all meaty products. Chicken, fish, shrimp, oysters and other shellfish can be eaten. But allow your daughter to make wise decisions not decisions on conditions, thats your job.

If you have never experienced life without meat then I understand your questioning. I can say however that I stopped eating meat when I was 10 because I saw how animals were treated before they were slaughtered and it upset me in such a way that I did not want to have anything to do with it. I am now 20 years older and am very healthy, not too thin, athletic and probably have much healthier proteins in me than my meat eating family. I am glad that I was not forbidden to make this decision when I was so young. My family still don't understand how I can go through life without eating steak or chicken etc, but we aren't all meant to be the same people.You say you like to debate things with your daughter? When you debate, do you end up persuading eachother to step down from your convictions or do you debate and leave it with mutual respect for the others strength of conviction?? maybe let her try it and help her with it. She might get tired of it and go back to meat, but she sounds clever. Give her the chance to find out how she feels.

good luck with this:)

Apparently you are not an animal person--of course animals have feelings. Read up on what red meat and chicken does to your body and you may change your mind as well. She sounds like a smart cookie--let her try it and see how she feels. Just take her to her doctor first, for her age--she will need to get a blood test about 2 times a year.

So what if her reasons are political--her health will be better off in the long run and I teach 11, 12 and 13 year olds who have no concept of political issues--you should be proud of her!! She may not even like it--there are worse things to stress about.


http://vegetarian.lifetips.com/cat/9166/...

I can see where this could bother you. She is pretty young still. I personally feel if a child really wants to be vegan, they must be old enough to prepare meals for themselves that are nutritiously sound. I hardly think an 11yo is capable of that.

It isn't really fair to you and the rest of your family that you would have to come up with extremely creative meals to satisfy everyone's palate and still keep HER meals vegan.

I agree with you...I couldn't give up my occasional steak!

it is your daughters choice what she puts in her body. if you want to believe that we were made to eat meat, go on ahead, but that doesn't mean that she cannot experiment with abstaining from animal muscle. go to a slaughter house one day. i defiantly feel you will change your views on whether animals, like us, have feelings or not.

Although she is young you need to let her decide this for herself if you fight her on it it's just gonna push her into it more. My son is 7 and is a vegetarian. I hope one day he will at least try meat but i decided not to push the issue because i don't want to push him into something he doesn't want to do. As long as she is healthy you shouldn't worry too much. She needs to learn to make her own decisions. Patience and tolerance is the best advice I can give you. Good luck.

If she wants to be a vegetarian, I wouldn't debate it. If she's doing this just to be contrary to you, who knows what she's going to do when she's older? I'm not saying to be over-accomodating, but have options available to her (and of course the rest of the family), like beans and rice, or other meatless options. I would also try to make sure she's making healthy choices; be up front with letting her know that just because Twinkies aren't meat, it doesn't make it an appropriate substitute. Maybe with time, she'll be back with us carnivores! Good luck!!!

i think the only reason you have aproblem with this is you do not whant to stop eating meat.and you feel if your dauter becomes a vegiterien you will have to to. thats not so. i would let here become vegiterian. she is her own person . she feels the way she feels and has her own personality ,and out look on things. ps by the way just so you do not think i am one of those activist . i am not a vegiterian i love meat to.

No need to make this a holy roller issue.

IMO if you had a high IQ you would know how unhealthy meat is for the body. At 11 your daughter should be able to make this decision, unless you are trying to raise a drone that just goes along with the crowd.

Even if she is doing it for "political" reason and just going along with it, how is that any different than her going along with eating meat becauase of how you feel. What are your motives for eating meat, enjoyment(as you put it). Just because you would not be able to handle not eating meat does not mean that is how she feels.

In honesty how many of the choices any person makes are not political, religious, or influenced by some outside source.

Animals DO have feelings..........duh! Ugh..............people like this just piss me off...........

you can have all the meat she doesn't eat. If the entire family is eating a balanced diet- all she has to do is "fork over" her serving of meat at each meal. No special separate meals involved.

At 11 she doesn't have the maturity and experience to make big decisions about her health (if she decided to take up smoking, or decided to start having sex at this age, a parent would OBVIOUSLY be expected to yell a resounding NO!). With that being said, she IS at an age where she wants to (and needs to) start making some decisions for herself. If she is forced to eat certain things against her will she could possibly develop an eating disorder, either now or later (many of my friends have lived through similar situations).
I think that this is an awesome teachable moment for you. This is your chance to use your intelligence to teach her about how her body works, and what it needs to function properly. After she has that information, the two of you can sit down and make meal plans together that ensure that she gets the appropriate amount of nutrient/protein everyday. She may have to come to understand that if she feels srtongly about this (which shows strong character, and should be acknowledged for its positive aspects as well as its negative) that she may need to compromise and eat beans and nuts. She may also decide to eat chicken and/or fish, just omitting the red meat. Encourage compromise, both from her and from yourself.
She doesn't get to decide for herself at this age, but it IS your job as a parent to help her learn HOW to decide for the future. Respecting her as an individual with different feelings from your own is hard, but necessary, and it doesn't mean you give up your role as a parent. She needs guidance--but being authoritarian will only push her away and rob her of an opportunity to learn. All of your smarts should confirm that to be true ;)

Has it been proven that animals have no emotions? What about dogs and cats.

Why are you making statements when you KNOW they are stereotypical?

I have always been skinny even before I became a vegetarian. Yes you do get skinnier when giving up meat, it happens. I think you should support your daughter's decision and not repeat yourself saying "All her reasons are political" vegetarianism IS political.

I find it horrible when parents don't support their child's decision to give up meat. Just because you think its bad for her, doesn't make it true. Why don't you do research before saying 'no' to her.

That sounds like a personal choice to me, just because she got the idea from somewhere else doesnt mean she doesnt beleive it. So she's different that you, deal with it and move on, her not eating a steak isnt the end of the world. even if you tell her not to become a vegetarian, she wont eat a peice of meat thats put in front of her if she truly wants to become a vegetarian.

ok the person who said animals have feelings, untrue they do have pain but they thrive stritcly on instinct, and about killing animals, its on wrong if its about game and luxury clothing, but if its to eat then theirs nothing wrong, but in the end if you dont eat meat you may lack things in your body that you might need and when you get older you'll pay for it, for example some people never drink milk when their young because they dont like it, when they hit their 40s they have weak bones, eating meat will help you bruse less, meat is a important thing in someones diet, as with any food and whatever they lack itll come to haunt them,

Impress upon her that Beef/Lamb/Chicken and Fish were put on this earth by God to feed our bodies with the necessery niutrients it needs in order to maintain her health & her IQ level. It is wrong however, to kill these animals for any other purpose.

Then again, God also gave every individual the gift of free choice!!