What are the basic ground rules that Indian parents and familes have for raising children?

Indians have such a special way of thinking that makes for children who are happier than the ones I know where I live (in the US) ..... I wonder what it is that people think and do that makes such a big difference ?

Thank you in advance for any insight and advice you might like to offer

x
Lakshmi Parimala

Please don't be under the impression that there is something special about the parenting skills of Indians. Indians just like any other ethnic group, make mistakes in almost every walk of life. Its called being human. There are a lot of US parents who are amazing and they have raised amazing and successful kids.

Unfortunately, Indian children who were born in the 60's and 70's had parents who loved them but had little or no parenting skills. Their philosophy was "because I said so" or "you must respect me because I am elder" or "tsk tsk, what will people think of you" or "nice girls don't look at or talk to boys" or "sons always take care of their old parents" or "good daughter-in-laws always serve their in-laws, no matter how badly they are treated". They were too worried about how society would react, rather than being in touch with their kids. Too many of those kids turned into messed up adults who need psychological counseling and therapy.

Don't get me wrong - not all were messed up. They loved their kids, but there was that mentality that family name, respectability, setting a good example, etc were the most important things. Indian parents (as well as parents all over the world) really should practice the following ideas:

-Teach your child about equality (male and female) - boys are not better than girls, just because they're boys.
-Practice equality by distributing sweets and throwing a party when a baby girl is born.
-Teach your sons to respect women by treating your wife with love and respect in front of them.
-Don't name call your child.
-Respect your child if you want them to respect you. Just because they are kids, doesn't mean they don't deserve respect.
-Try to show an interest in what your kids like (music, sports, movies, hobbies).
-When you're angry at them, don't yell or throw things. People always listen better when someone is calm.
-Pick and choose your battles. Let the small stuff go.
-Its ok to let your kids have the last word (as long as its not a swear word). Adults don't always have to win. If we let our kids win sometimes, its no big deal.
-Hug your kids often and tell them how much they mean to you. No matter how old a child gets, he needs to hear that often and know that he is loved.
-Praise your child often.
-Never criticize your child in front of someone else.....even kids have their own pride and self respect. Don't shatter it.
-Don't bad mouth other people (relatives, etc) in front of your kids.
-Don't hold grudges against your kids. If they do something to shame or embarrass you, forgive them and help them find a solution.
-Its ok to say sorry to your kid.
-Don't preach to them about being good people - show them how to do it by doing it yourself.
-DO NOT hit your child.....EVER. This only teaches them to be afraid of you and that it is okay to hit someone if you are bigger than them. You never want your child to fear you. If they're afraid of you, they will never open up to you.

that they will look after they when they retire hurt and feed them.