What is the best way to measure brothers willy accurately?

Well, me and shadow were just having a bath and brother burst in with nothing on holding a tape-measure! I covered Shadows eyes, he is too young to see a bare bit. I then asked brother what he was doing with the tape measure and he said 'I want you to measure my front bit sister!' I dont mind doing this as ive done this for father many many times! Anyway i started to meaure it but it kept growing longer and shorter, how am i going to get an accurate reading if it keeps doing this? Can anyone help? Its very important that i measure it exact, he is filling in a job application form and they want to know his age, height and size! He is going to be a fireman! Can anyone help? sent

You should get shadow to hold the end of it and pull! Everyone tells a few white lies in application forms, it wouldn't matter if you exaggerated the size slightly! Tell your brother good luck!

Have him drink 4 glasses of water before measuring. Pull on it for about a min. When you get maximum length, the water will help it retain size and you can get an accurate measurment. Good luck. Make all measurements at room temperature.

Stroke it and lick it until he's about to come, while Shadow holds the tape measure against it to get the maximum length Then change places - you measure while Shadow strokes and licks. Take the average of the two measurements - that should be fair. (Also it'll give you a good idea whether your brother's gay or not.)

Try dipping his willy in cement. It'll create some sort of a life size cast which you can measure. Goodluck...

you need to cut it off first.

Write down all the measurements and work out the average one. That should work for him.