I have a question about pornography and couples?

Everyone has their hangups...someone who cares about you and respects you, will respect your hangup and let it go (especially if your sex life is as eventful as you claim)...it's not like you're trying to prohibit him from watching porn, but it should certainly be acceptable that you don't care for it (especially since you've apparently found other ways to expand your sexual repertoire)...

In the swinging world, "No, means no"...that should apply to your lack of desire to watch porn as well...perhaps if you brought to his attention how unpleasant he'd find it if you pestered him about doing something he didn't want to do, he'd re-think his behavior on that issue toward you...

Here's the thing, I hate porn videos, really, really can't stand watching them at all, they make me very uncomfortable and are a huge turn off for me. In fact, I would rather (and have) bring other people into the bedroom than watch a porn.

There's nothing I won't do for my partner and the person I'm seeing now has said I've done things he's only heard of or never even seen before, so that isn't the issue, he's pretty happy. The thing is, like any guy, he likes to watch porn (and he's single, it's not my problem if he does) and when we get together he occasionally asks if I would watch with him. He sort of knows how I feel about this, but I don't think he really "gets" it (especially after a few drinks). In fact he thinks it's kind of odd that I'll do so much and be so open in bed but I'm so firm about drawing the line with this. I've even been at swing parties with basically live action everywhere and had to excuse myself from rooms where people had videos going on the television (it actually makes me nauseous)....I'm just saying I'm certainly not a prude, but I can't get over this.

So, to get to the point, I know this is something he'd really like for me to do with him ( he's way more straight laced than me and thinks it's "naughty") and he'd get a kick out of this. I know I could avoid watching by doing other things, but that would defeat the purpose of what he's looking for.

The question for guys is: Can I continue to politely refuse to watch or would that be an issue and eventually a turn off?
And for women: Creative strategies to avoid having to watch or politely refuse to watch?

Because, really, how important is this one thing?

@ James: I am and part of that is thinking ahead, so I'm just trying to have a strategy for if or when this comes up again :-)

you sound better than most of the other girls on ya but maybe hes wanting to show you something so you could do it to him or he to you but doesnt want to ask, maybe you have done things to him he had not experienced but there could be something else he would like to experience

I find it a little odd to say the least that you could view live action but not videos.

But to each his own, and you are entitled to refuse to watch porn with him if you dont want to.

But perhaps, if he is as straight-laced as you say, its his way of working up to involving others?

if he wants to watch just direct his attention another way sexually...

It figures that the women that attempt to answer this issue don't have a clue what to do. Why? Because in the end how can a woman think like a man. First of all, he is not fantasizing about having sex with another woman, he is fantasizing about the act of sex in various positions and situations that are not happening in real life. It's not the woman, it's just the act of sex. If he is masturbating, as soon as he climaxes he can turn it off because mission accomplished. it had nothing to do with that woman, it was the atmosphere and the act of sex itself. Porno creates an atmosphere that men picture themselves in, that's the thrill of it. after the sex, the atmosphere fades and he is back to reality. If you want to get his mind off the porno, look at what he is looking at and create the same atmosphere. That won't cost you nothing this time. This one was on the house.

Yes you can refuse. You should not have to watch it if you do not want to just like he should not have to stop watching it if he does want to. If you really want to do this for him let him watch but turn off the sound and busy yourself on him while he watches.

I would rather have porn than others in the bedroom because you can always turn off the TV and no STDs are exchanged and no one gets pregnant. We all watch naughty movies in different forms so if you think another in bed is fine over a movie then you are crazy! Get him a blow up doll and have a 3 some with it and she can just go in the closet when you both are done with it.

A healthy relationship will not involve pornography. These our my morales, I hold to a higher standard - would you want him "getting off" to another woman? Pornography is an addiction that has no end, he will be desensitized and will end up probably watching more "hardcore" porn to feed the addiction - then he will want to practice these things he's been desensitized to orgasm to - TO YOU.

I know what your thinking. Your thinking I'm an asshole for writing this. Go on, and think what you want. I'll give it a couple of years - maybe less, and you'll learn.

If it doesn't float your boat then I wouldn't make you. And if you as naughty as you say in the bedroom he should be mroe than content with what you do give him.

Tell him no and if he has a problem then he will just have to imagine your watching some as it aint gonna happen.

I don't think it is really important in a relationship watching this kind of videos. It really matters how you feel and understand mutually

I consider porn to be a solitary pursuit.

I do not understand watching it with someone either but not because I don't care for it.

I have always subscribed to the theory that a "Babe in the bed is worth two on the screen".

Perhaps that line would work the next time it comes up.........the subject that is.

I'm a little curious about your feelings about other forms of erotica.
What about erotic literature, pictures and such? Would he be into that as an alternative? Would you?

I don't mind videos myself but even in amateur porn there comes a moment when someone makes the "porn face" and I find it a total turn off.

Politely refuse????? You need to get in his face and tell him how it's going to be and if he doesn't like it, he can hit the door!!!!