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What are some of the major disagreements in a marriage that have led to divorce?


Please share a story. Freely describe it. I got the time to listen.

Please do not put, "we have been married 10yrs and going strong" because that is not an answer to this question. Please do not say, "it is normal to disagree from time to time" because as you can deduce that that is not an answer to the question. What I am asking is about disagreements on important issues that have been resolved through divorce. I am doing a reasearch project on love.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

When my first wife and I got married, I was in the Navy and going to electronics school in Great Lakes, Illinois, while she completed her nursing credentials in California. We were apart for only about two or three months. When I got back to So. Cal. and she met me at the airport, the first thing she told me was that she had become a born-again christian and, if I didn't become one myself, our marriage wouldn't last.

Over the years, this issue was a major wedge between us. I was raised a catholic and, when I was old enough, chose to never attend church again. She had never been to church a day in her life, until her sister convinced her to go while I was gone. And, she was very self-righteous about how her newfound religion was the absolute truth (like all born-again christians tend to do).

I didn't want to hang out with her friends, because they were always giving their "testimony" and trying to convert me. And, she couldn't hang out with my friends because they *gasp* drank beer and listened to rock music (I'm completely serious). I would actually look forward to when we worked different shifts, so I wouldn't have to be around her at home.

Because I was away a lot (going out to sea), I figured that she was being influenced by her religious friends and, once I got out of the navy and was home all the time, she would snap out of it. But, it never happened. Sex, if it ever did happen, was stiff and boring. It was a pretty miserable existence.

I started working when I got out of the navy and met a girl there. One thing led to another and we decided to have an affair. The sex was awesome and this new girl wasn't religious. We also had so much more in common than I did with my wife. Of course, my wife found out. So, I told her I didn't love her any more and I was leaving her. And, I told her the reason was her religion and how judgmental it made her. Plus, the sex wasn't any good any more. I love this new girl. And, that's all there is to it.

She was pretty blown away and took it pretty hard. But, I didn't care. I couldn't stand the person she had become. And, I didn't really have any feelings for her any more.

Money Matters
Infidelity

the top two

Money issues will get it every time. Wife doesn't work. Husband loss job. Having children you're not financially ready for. Gambling problems. These are just a tip of the iceberg, known as, "Financial Problems". The thing is......these financial problems cause "other" problems to seem bigger than they are. It makes them seem unsolvable. So, many people think the only way out is divorce.

the top disagreements that I can think of would be kids, money and sex. kids, especially in blended or step families, money could be an issue from the get go and sex, whether it be cheating or not enough in the relationship. hope this helps.

Disrespect.

Money
Sex
Kids

Money is the No 1 subject that couples will start bickering about. Chores come in 2nd, cos if the husband isn't working AND expect the wife to clean up the mess around the house, she's bound to explode. But if he's helpful around the house, the wife will be happy and content. True story.

I believe that the two top reasons for divorce are over money and sex....Usually the two spouses are in disagreement about money...one tends to spend too much and the other is a saver.....As for the sexual issue...one partner tends to have a higher sexual drive then then the other...leaving them feel unfulfilled and unloved...

inlaws!!!

Money, Kids, Household responsibilities, sex, and then money again. Lack of communication is a biggie( to me anyway)

We had rules to fighting, one of the rules was after one said they were sorry it was never brought up again. Once I did something that my wife didn't' agree with, it wasn't a bad thing. Well she throw it back in my face several times after I had said I was sorry, and once in front of a good friend of mine. I had a talk and told her I would never tell her I was sorry for anything I ever did again. You have to understand I don't go around doing bad things. The thing I did was send my sister some money when she was having a rough time. By never telling my wife I was sorry for anything ever again, it was the beginning of the end, it left alot of things unresolved. 5 yrs later she left me for another man(married) she had met on line.

it all sort of begins with one party not feeling loved, than excelates onto other things. its all about how your spouse makes u feel about yourself, and if u don't feel loved u can't give love and won't agree on anything after awhile.

these days sneezing wrong can lead to divorce..
But in my expirences and those that i know, these seem to be the top 3 reasons that lead to divorce

1. Finances, either never having enough money or one of them spends to much and the bills arent getting paid etc.. or they simply live beyond their means.

2. Infidelity.. , and that doesnt always mean actually cheating physically, it can be, cheating mentally sharing personal intimate thoughts or feelings with another of the opposite sex, or looking at porn either on tv, mags, computer... giving any reason for the spouse to feel insecure in the relationship and questioning the faithfulness of the marriage.. trust issues..

3. With society.. blended families are very hard to hang on to.. your not only dealing with husband and wife issues ur dealing with ex husbands and ex wives, a ready made family, different households , etc trying to combine and work as one.. and its very hard to do, and theres no real time for the marriage bond to grow, and it is just extremely hard to make it run smoothly and as one single family unit.. to many people involved in one house hold that shouldnt be there is to many , ie the "x's"

My parents got divorced because my mother went through years of therapy to change some things about herself. My father went to only one session and essentially did not want to change. They did not change/grow together.

My in-laws got divorced because they did not know how to communicate with one another. Also, he gambled away hundreds of thousands of dollars without her permission.

Sex (lack of)
When to have kids
Where to live
Where to be buried - dont know where that came from!
Money
Kids in general - parenting styles

I could go on! I'm not divorced actually we celebrated our 1 year anniversary yesterday!!!! BUT I do have a lot of coworkers who are going through this now.

Money
Sex
Affairs
Laziness
Abuse

many times people seek out others to talk to...they do not look inside their marriage and think that they could be a big part of the problem and they seek things outside starting with riendship and leading further. they forget their vows. and sometimes once they have strayed...no turning back and they continue doing it

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