How do you convince ex-wife to end affair and work on a better marriage?

She left over two years ago for a married man 20 years her senior, took our child and has never looked back.

Divorce is now final, yet I believe divorce is against the will of God.

I don't know how to proceed.

BH

I'm not sure how you convince someone to go to counselling if they won't even attend a parent teacher conference with you.

I guess just be the best man I can be, hope the affair fizzles out. (How much fun can a man married for 30 years be when he's in his mid 50's, his wife got half of his fortune and he is paying support for an adult child with a disability.)

Thanks for the answers so far.

BH

Dear man, there is no marriage. Unfortunately, there ceased to be marriage when she betrayed her vows to you...with another woman's husband no less. It's not about a piece of paper. It's about a covenant...and she broke it. Yes, God hates divorce. Yes, he is desirous of us to be reconciled unto one another. ...BUT....though it is not his perfect sovereign will that anyone divorce, as with all other acts of mercy, He condescends to allow for divorce (under this circumstance)-- via his permissive will for our lives, through which he can and will (Romans 8:28) bring about other aspects of his sovereign will, which we cannot now see. I know how wretchedly painful this is. Believe me, I do. ...but I agree with the others. Let it go; allow yourself to fully mourn the death of the marriage (You said yourself she has never looked back. What choice do you have?). Then God can work in and through you to accomplish what you could not imagine. You cannot control another human being. Don't try. Let her go..and just pray for her. That's all you can do. BTW, how in the world did she end up with your child?! Wretched. Chin up, BH.

Good answer, you can either hold on to an impossible situation or let go. You can't change the past and you can't change people. Ask Him, He'll help. Report Abuse

Start by convincing her to go with you to counciling. Maybe go a couple sessions alone then invite her asking that she do it to help you deal with some of your feelings. Then while there maybe you can get some understanding of why she's cheating, and if she would be willing to try and work on a relationship. Maybe there is no hope but counciling is a nice neutral ground to work on finding out.

It seems like you're interested in holding onto something that she's not interested in holding onto. Perhaps you could seek help in moving on yourself.

I wish I knew the answer to give you. If I did I would use it to get my husband to leave his girlfriend and come back to me also. All I can say is be patience and let God do his work. If it is meant to be, it will be. I know it's not easy, but you can't hold her at gunpoint and force a reconsiliation. (If you could, I would've by now)

before you start on all this, ask yourself if you really want to subject yourself to this. What if you two start working on it and she cheats on or leaves you for another man again.
Yes divorce is against the will of God but what if you just end up getting hurt again? I can't really tell you what to do. Everyone has there own opinions and I think that you need to sit down and analyze this from all points and agree or disagree to go forward with this plan

Oh, BH, this is one of those questions with a billion answers and few are correct. I agree that divorce is against the will of God, but you are divorced so there is nothing to do now but try to start rebuilding your life as your ex has done. I know it won't be easy, but none of us can live in the past, it isn't living, it's only existing. I'm certain there is a good and loving woman out there just waiting for you to find her. God Bless and LIVE again.

I believe that divorce is against God's will unless one of the spouses has been unfaithful, in which case it is then up to the couple if they should seek to divorce or work things out...

As for your situation, I sincerely believe that you need to look ahead to your future and stop beating yourself up over something which is no longer in your hands...There is a right person for each of us, you need to find her and build a new, happier life. Take your experience with your ex as a learning experience and let taht help you to find the right person.

But most importantly, give your wounds time to heal so that when you do find that person you will be ready to move forward.

Good luck and GOD bless.

Just lost my wife of 26 yrs to her old college beau.Mal.2:6 GOD HATES DIVORCE.However,in matters of fornication you may put her aside. I caught mine 4 mos. ago an it has destroyed my health,family, job an home.I realize I must move on and that she is gone but the shock and pain won't go away. I keep thinking she'll be back. If not for me for the kids but the reality is SHE AIN'T.It's time to stop hurting and start healing BH same as me. I'm 51 so it is very hard.But gotta DO IT. In Christian Love---Beagil