What is the difference between swingers and everyone else?

My wife and I have been married for 8 years and have a rock solid relationship based on trust, respect and love. We are committed to each other on a cellular level.

And we are swingers.

I feel not a whit of jealousy when I see her having sex with another man. After we attend events we are even closer and more affectionate with each other than usual.

I know that this has to do with security, that the difference between me and the other men is that with them it is JUST sex and with me there is commitment.

So I guess my question really is why do some people just seem to be immune from jealousy?

For those of you that wish to damn us or criticize us for our choice of lifestyle, save it. Trust me I could find huge holes of self-righteous hypocrisy in the life you live...

Just stick to the conversation.

I would say that the non-swinger would be very upset if they saw their spouses being intimate with another person. There is an expectation there that once married, the couple will be loyal to each other and not have sex with other people. Most people keep their sex lives very private and do not share it with others.

I don't know if it is immunity from jealousy. I thinks its a level of acceptance on you and your partners part. My parents are into a "slave" thing I am not sure I understand it but I accept that they choose that lifestyle. For me I would never be able to watch the person I love have sex of any kind with another. I dont have that level of acceptance.

My wife and have been contemplating the same thing (trying swinging) for a while now. You're right that the key is a succesful marraige where both parties are comfortable with the idea of swinging.

This is not a lifestyle for most couples - most people can't handle the jealousy thing. But if a couple is in a solid relationship and see the extra sex as a benefit, then it seems like a great idea.

Everyone else don't have a spouse to go home with after a night of swinging. They are still alone.

that's you choice of lifestyle...go ahead enjoy it while you are healthy and disease-free

I'm not sure. I'm terribly jealous so I may be able to chalk it up to my own insecurities. Maybe you don't get jealous because you are really secure and trust a lot. I don't, big problem.

I think the difference is the fact that you are not overly jealous. That is a good thing. You are not insecure with yourself.

Good luck and glad you found something you both like to do.

:)