How do you deal with being divorced when kids are involved?

Do you get jealous of your child being with your ex and their new partner or do you try to get along with them

I am a stepmom and just wanted to know why it bugged people so much i know if i had kids of my own i would be open minded and not be a ***** and threaten the father and not let him see my kids because of another woman....that is acting like a kid in my eyes...but i get along just peachy with my husbands ex actually my step daughter lives with us

my mom used to get extremely jealous when i spent time with my stepmom. i didnt understand it at the time, but looking back she was definatley jealous (and also probably didnt like her) honestly, as hard as it may be, try to get along with the ex and their new partner, atleast in front of the kids. dont hint to your kids that you dont like them, even the most subtle of words that you may think you child wont understand, they will. it was an awkward situation for me that i hated being in the middle of.

but overall, now that im older, i wasnt as effected from the divorce as some may think. i think theres this whole stigma around children of divorced parents but the truth is that children are relentless, and as long as you attempt to come a somewhat civil environment with the ex, your kids will be just fine.

The best thing you can do is be truthful about the situation. Don't hide how you feel about someone, your kids will pick it up, trust me. You can be civil towards someone you don't like, correct? That is how you approach this. It will help your child in the long run.

Do not get caught up in the "buy me something" if you love me routine that can come from the guilt of a divorce too.

I was almost to that point and couldn't ever bear the thought of another man raising my children and being with the woman I wanted to spend my life with. I'm so glad we worked things out :)

I was divorced and a single dad. I felt totally lost for a while and then rejoined society. For the kids sake, they need a 2 parent family. BUT if the parents don't get along and agree on the kids welfare, that can be a major problem. In my case, she flat left. I later remarried and completed the raising of her kids and mine. We lived happily ever after (We've been married 40 years). It will work but you have to put your heart and soul in it and it isn't easy.

Try to get along with them....being hostile with the kids on the in between could ruin their lives...do your best to keep cool with the ex for the kids sake!

the best thing you can do for your kids is to get over it as soon as possible. Move on; or forgive and forget!

you do your best to get slong for the child's sake i'm saying be the ex-spouse's significant other's best friend just tolerate them for your child because they do become attached to other people too

The only part that concerns me is the negative encouragement the children are exposed to.

its difficult but life goes on and so must you.
Focus on yourself .
Your kids will understand " why " when they grow older.

Well this might sound harsh but do you have another choice?
It can be tough if its very soon after..hang in there,but your kids love you as mom. But they also get attached to the step mother and if you cant get along with her or at least be nice even if you have to fake it,they will catch on and it will hurt you down the road..

He hasn't dated someone yet (at least not one that is around our child)... but, I've considered that issue since the moment I left. I'm sure I'll have some jealousy, it's very normal... but, I will try with everything I can to try to get along with them... because we know that she will be around my daughter.. if I make life hard on her, she will likely make life hard on my daughter; however, if I am kind to her, I can only hope she will be kind to my daughter.

You need to do your best to get along, as difficult as it may be, it's best for the kids to see you can still have a decent relationship, and just be mature about it all.

You deal with it for the sake of your children. Youo don't let them see you fighting or arguing with your former spouse.

The best thing to do, which will help you both, is to make a big deal about the time they are going to spend with your ex, it helps them feel better about leaving you, and it helps you to realize it is important for them.

They need to know that it is ok with you for them to leave and go with Daddy or Mommy - and if they see you sad, it places undo burden on them.

It does get better, you just need to take the time they are gone, and do something for you - with friends, or alone, something you don't have time for.

Good Luck!