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How do you tell your parents something important?


I just turned 19, I'm the youngest of four children, and I live with my parents and my only brother. My mom and I have a good relationship; I'm able to tell her and/or ask her things that i can't/won't tell/ask my dad. I guess you can say I'm somewhat afraid of him? Any-how, my parents are a lot more protective over me because my siblings before me made life changing mistakes. Because of what they've done, I'm not allowed to go out or stay out late and they cringe when I ask to sleep over a friend's house (plus more). I don't want to return to school next semester (I'm attending community college) and I'd rather work full time. I would also like to move out in a few months. I've always had a problem communicating with my dad.

Is there a way to talk to my parents without either one of them getting really angry?

(a little more info.: my parents were born in Central America, I'm the first American born child, and the one thing my dad and I share is a very short temper)

I would also like to add that I'm not quitting college. I don't want to attend at the moment because I don't know what my major should be. I would rather work full time and figure out what I want than to go to school with no motivation and waste my dad's money.

Well, first off think about why it is that you want to quit college and think about what it is that you can change to make you want to continue. If the idea of college isn't for you and you already have a decent job then that's your decision.

Second, be honest with your parents and understanding that they love you and want to keep you safe from making the same mistakes that your older siblings made. Talk to them openly, honestly and respectfully. Tell them that you will be getting your own place because you feel it's time for you to make that step into adulthood and that you will remember all that they have taught you about being a responsible adult. Also, it doesn't hurt to reassure them that you love and respect them and appreciate all that they have done for you and let them know that you have every intention of visiting and having an occassional dinner with them.

If your parents don't agree then maybe they will come around if they see that you are doing well on your own.

I know this wasnt your question, but about taking time off college. Dont do it!!!! Kids start school all the time , w/our knowing what their major will be,and thats ok. If you put it off, it will get harder and harder to go back. I hear of people takign a year off all the time, and most of them dont go back.

You have the right to your own life , however, continued education is extremely important , especially now days and its nearly impossible to live on your own and go to school and work full time...I've got to say , I'd be disappointed in your choice...my daughter did something similar when she was 20...had a couple kids...works full time and now began dental school..so hard on finances, and the kids to put so much time and money into a professional career move now...she should have done it when she was 19-20..and living at home...something to think twice about.

I have to tell you what a HUGE mistake you may be making yourself for dropping out of school. You WILL regret it...
Your idea is to work full time? Where are you going to work without a college education that will offer you a future? Quality Benefits? High Pay? Opportunity to advance to the top?

Let me tell you... Our daughter who is near your age (21) has been working 30 hours a week and going to the University full time for the last two years. At times she's very frustrated b/c between studies and work she can get pretty exhausted BUT she will let nothing stop her from obtaining that degree because she knows that it's an important investment in HER.

Apparently you live at home and may not HAVE to work full time. Take advantage of your parents generousity now while you have it. Go to school!!

I'd say that your parents love you so much and feel like maybe they did something wrong in their parenting to cause your siblings to make the mistakes you've referred to so they may be "tightening the reins" so to speak..... trying to "save" you from making similar mistakes.

Yes, your father will probably get very angry, but realize that it's out of deep sorrow to see his baby daughter make such a "life changing" choice not to finish her education.

I too never could communicate with my father and he has the shortest fuse I've ever known one to have. I feel like I can empathize with your dilema with him...
The issue here isn't really your parents however. It's about YOU.
You're old enough to understand that they want only what is best for you, even when you feel like it "sucks" at the moment for you.. and you don't have the life experience that they do to see a future without that degree...
School won't last forever and before you know it, you'll have one responsibility after another piled upon you as an independent adult that you'll not have such an easy opportunity to get back to school.

Think really hard about it... Write the pro's and con's down and think about where you want to see yourself and what you want to have accomplished at the end of 5 yrs from now.
Five years is going to arrive regardless and it could arrive with you having a degree and working full time or you having no degree and working full time. Either way you'll be working full time.....
I think I'd choose the first option myself...

If you decide that you think it's in your best interest to quit school and go to work full time then just tell your parents. There isn't any way to avoid their disappointment because they will be disappointed and very concerned for you.

Good Luck to you....

Just a suggestion: continue going to college, the same college, but continue to take classes at night. This will prove to your parents that you are serious about an education. As long as you have the option to return full time, it might be good to see what the working world is like. Also, talking to working people will give you some insights. I think the main insight will be - get back in school, don't waste time, don't veer off course because college is so, so important.
Good luck!

i don't have any advice about dealing with your family, but do not take a semester off to work full time. you will never go back and then you will regret it later in life

Just talk with them..Your dad is getting harder to talk to because you are not that little girl that he loved so much..all fathers have trouble watching there girls grow up he loves you the same but you are a young woman now and he does not want to lose is little girl.....it is harder for dads because he has not been as vocal with you since you were a preteen.......

alway tell the true to your parents..lies hurt so deeply

be up front and honest with them, all you can do is sit them down and talk to them, AND hope for the best. if your more comfortable talking to your mom, tell her first and see how she reacts, then ask her to help you explain the situation to your dad, you're a legal adult and they "should" be able to accept that you're responcible anough to make your own desicions about how you live your life.

do what u want to ur 19 right? so just runnnnnnnnnnnn

You are old enough to make your own decisions...but you should stay in school...FYI...it is possible to work fulltime and go to school full time, I did it taking 15 hours and raising two kids alone, your much younger than me and your single....I think you should consider other options other than dropping out altogether....If you don't know your major then just take your basic course load till you figure it out...But don't stop! Once you drop out its hard to go back...I dropped out for two years and it ended up taking me 10 years to get a four year degree....Think about some other options...I wish all I had to do was go to college full time and enjoy being a young adult...

Well you are 19, and 18 is the legal age for being an adult so you have your free agency

I think what you need to do is to discuss with your mum first and try to let her agree with you then she will know how to present the issue to your dad before you tell him yourself.

i think your best option is to drop one bomb at a time tell them you don't wont to go back to school you wont to stay at collage and get a job listen to them and what they have to say and then you give them your opinion and try not to loose it this will upset them but i am shore they will come around in the end and them wait a while stay at home and show them how responsible you are save money do your work and collage then tell them you wont to move out by that time you would have proved how responsible you are and you can take care of your self

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