What do you do to get past hurt and anger caused by your older sister?

I know I should be the better person and forgive and forget ( as I always do)but this has happened more than once and the odds are it will keep happening--- she will never learn! I am not on speaking terms with her right now. We are both adults now and she really has to realize I am not her kid sis anymore and she can't keep treating me that way!!!

1) Ask yourself if you contributed to the problem. If so, accept your share of the blame.

2) Know that you can't control her, only yourself.

3) Try saying "I forgive you" over and over while looking at her picture.

4) If this is something that will happen again, then you HAVE to talk to her. If she refuses to see that she has hurt you, then repeat steps 2 and 3.

I don't have any formal answers for you, but I can relate to your situation. Some times people have a hard time letting go of the past and won't see what is really going on around them. My older sister stopped treating me like a child when I had a boyfriend. After I broke up with him, she treated me like a child again. She also treats my younger brother like an adult. You cannot change another person. You can only change yourself. Just live life on your terms and find happiness for yourself. Maybe some day she will come around. It is hard.

Just behave as the adult that you are. You cannot change anyone. Do not let her manipulate you. Be nice but firm. You could invite her to lunch and talk it out but no arguing.

I guess I am confused since you didnt really state what she did. But I have a know it all big sis too - and she is always putting her 2 cents in and of course she is "always right" (she is a lawyer, and just try telling a lawyer they are wrong) so instead of fight with her about butting into my life when she feels the need... I listen, thank her and accept her advice or disregard it. She would get mad if I disregarded it - but whatever, we are 1000 miles apart - I can just say "oops got another call gotta go! Love ya bye" and hang up. Problem solved and you are still on speaking terms.

The Mayans have a wonderful idea. they tell all their problems to the Worry People.
You don't have to buy a Mayan Mirror to make it work. Just buy yourself a small mirror and before you go to bed, look in it and tell yourself all the things that are upsetting you and that you are leaving them for the Worry Person in the mirror to sort out. Then put the mirror under your pillow before you sleep.
If your sister feels the need to indulge her inner child, visualise her that way. On her comprehension level, she doesn't mean to hurt you ;anger making as that may be! Try to keep your life away from her as much as you can and instead of getting angry try to pity her for not having moved on with her life.
It might just work.

Well, I can't tell qhat has transpired, but IMO, there are some people that are just toxic to us. Try as you might, you just can't be around them. So maybe not being on speaking terms is the most peace you've had in years... is that the case? If so, dont' sweat it. Let her live her life, and you live yours. Be civil to her at family gatherings, weddings, funerals, etc, but you don't have to be best friends just b/c you have the same parents!

first of all , what happened is it really worth loosing your relationship with her. communicate and if that doesnt work go to family counseling.or have a sit down with you her and your parents.work it out . i couldnt live without my sisters, they are my best friends. we talk things out and make it work.